I’m baaack with a ’short’ TMI story
It’s TMI Thursday!
TMI Thursday — live the horror, share the shame.
See Lilu’s awesomely funny blog for more information on TMIT!
During my most recent stint as a single woman, I discovered the wonderful world of internet dating. I met lots of fun guys, who will eventually make excellent fodder for more dating disasters, but for now, just a short story to share.
On this wonderful interwebz world, I met Tom (not his real name, on accounta’ I can’t remember it) and we chatted a bit online, and since he seemed nice enough, and not at all like a psycho ax killer, or a pants-dropper, I decided to meet him at Chilis.
We met in the bar, had a drink, and then moved on to dinner. The conversation was ok (and by “ok” I mean “better than a sharp stick in they eye”), and then after our fair to middlin’ dinner, he walked me to my car. I was already bored to tears by this date, so I did what any self-respecting, bored single woman would do. Go home and watch Lifetime you say? Nooooo. Grab your date and shove your tongue down his throat!
So Tom, seeming to approve of this turn of events, asks me to his house. I went*.
*Yes, I KNOW. I should NEVER have gone over to a virtual stranger’s house. But I did. And lived to tell the tale. Dude, I was BORED! Kids: Do NOT try this at home.
ANYway, he showed me around his house, yadayadayada…he’s still boring…so we make out some more.
So you know when you’re making out with a guy? And he’s pressed up against you and you can kind of “tell” when he’s, [ahem] “into” you? Oh. My. Lanta. This was not good – he was either into me and incredibly [ahem again] incredibly “unimpressive”…orrrrr…he had a chapstick in his pocket.
I didn’t find out for sure that night, which was the actual case and I never went out with him again. So I seriously don’t know the answer.
For your reference:
Tags: chapstick, Dating, dating disasters, Is that a chapstick in your pocket or are you happy to see me?, romance, things we do for love, TMI, TMIT
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December 9, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Oh…. BEEN THERE. Except I went one step further.
And then I magically got “sick” before anything went one step further.
Yeah, I’m an a-hole. What of it?
December 9, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Girl, I do NOT blame you! I actually feel really badly for anyone thusly “afflicted.” But feeling badly doesn’t mean I have to sleep with it!
December 9, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Baaahahahah!! I love that you gave us a visual. Also love that you stuck your tongue down his throat out of boredom. Sounds like a good boredom buster to me.
December 11, 2009 at 10:47 am
Exactly! Some people paint, some read, I kiss!
December 10, 2009 at 9:34 am
[...] Ms.Terri’s I’m baaack with a ’short’ TMI story [...]
December 10, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I’m gonna try really hard to be boring tonite and see if my wife will do that too.
This of course sounds a lot different from what I originally typed: “I’m gonna try to bore my wife”
December 11, 2009 at 10:48 am
Oh em gee you crack me up!
December 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I am a kissing bandit. I always kiss out of boredom and rarely for any other reason. And I guess I’m a whore because I usually go that extra step…But if it feels like a stick of chapstick, it most likely isn’t a stick of chapstick, so why waste your time!
Love the picture! hahaha
December 11, 2009 at 10:47 am
I think it’s a fun way to pass the time.
December 11, 2009 at 3:33 am
Chapstick-dicks are no fun whatsoever.
But they’re easier to suck….
…and to enjoy certain other activities…
…not that I’d know.
December 11, 2009 at 10:46 am
Haha! I’m not a fan of “other activities” if you’re referring to what I think you are, but a chapstickdick might change that!
December 13, 2009 at 2:38 am
That’s horrid! LOL
December 15, 2009 at 4:21 am
Oh that is too funny. Size DOES matter!!!
December 15, 2009 at 4:21 am
PS:
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