Writing in Crayon

Meet Eddie.   Or, “Edward Kittypaws” (to me) and “Eddie the Miraculous Bringer of Fellatio” (to my husband, Marty.

When I told Marty I wanted a kitty, he was all for it.  Then he realized that when I said “kitty,” I was NOT using that as a euphamism for “bi-curious bff with which to have a threesome.” He was now no longer on board with my plans.

So we negotiated. I whined, cried, got angry and begged, and he said no. And then we got a cat.

The actual conversation went something more like this:

Me: I think we should get a kitten

Marty: Are you nuts?

Me: Well…yes…but that’s irrelevant. I really want a kitten.

Marty: I think it’s a bad idea.

Me: Why not?? It’ll be soooo cuuuute.

Marty: We have enough pets (referring to Zoe, our cocker, and our older cat, Izzy)

Me: But Zoe needs a friend, and cats are less work than puppies, and Izzy hates her, and we need to get a kitten so it’ll grow up with her and they can be friends!

Marty: Bad idea.

Me: I’ll give you like 25 blow jobs….

Marty: I saw this ad? In the paper? And they have free kittens! Let’s go get one now!

And we had Eddie in our arms later that day.

I’m still paying off my “debt”.

So what did we learn here? 
for me: Promises of bj’s = kitten
for hubby: Promises of bj’s = nothing